26 January 2007

Gilbert's starting & the Mavs should consider a mascot change...OR why girls make more interesting sports fans.

You'd be hard-pressed to find any fan, male or female, more dedicated to a sports team than my friend Kristin is to the Dallas Mavericks. Their win/loss record determines her demeanor until the next game. Her mood of fury continued into the summer since the Mavs lost in the NBA finals this past season to a team that will go unmentioned (I don't want to rekindle any rage by mentioning the [cough]Heat[cough, cough]). She refused to speak to me after the Wizards ended the Mavs 12-game winning streak back in December.

That said, somehow I think that male and female sports fans have very different conversations about their favorite teams:

Kristin: Have you read your Wizzies boyfriend's blog on nba.com? He's either really funny or a huge a-hole

me: Yes. He's really funny. They interviewed him on the news last night . He was so cute . Cause he's gonna be a starter in the All Star game .

Kristin: I hate him. Because Dirk should be a starter .
By the way we lost last night and now the stinky suns have the best record in the NBA.

me: aw man. I HATE THE SUNS!!!!

me: That's OK, now Washington is #2 in the East. Behind the Pistons . Phoenix=sucky city, Detroit=sucky city

Kristin: Ya now we're behind the suns. But we beat them both times this year

me: good

Kristin: I HATE that new Nike commercial. With like 12 players . And there is not one Maverick . But there are 3 Suns . Dirk should be a starter .

me: I agree

Kristin: The Sun is a gay mascot

me: It's not even a planet!

Kristin: Nope. It's a ball of gay fire.

me: That a wizard on a horse would magically extinguish!

Kristin: exactly

me: I think your mascot needs a horn though. So it can join the land of mystical mascots .

Kristin: haha

me: A unicorn and a wizard would get along swimmingly. And if we played each other in the finals, it would be like "Magic: the Gathering."

me: Unicorns are more dangerous than real horses cause they have weapons attached to their heads. Tell Mark Cuban to THINK ABOUT THAT .

Kristin: haha. On one of those "super sweet 16" shows , this girl had a horn made to put on her white horse for her pictures , and it hit her in the face with it . Unicorns are not nice animals .

me: I know! Remember that time I rescued you from the unicorn attack? I mean, he did stab me in the leg, and I still can’t walk right, but that was a close call.

Kristin: I will never forget it.


Charlotte! said...

If I were a coach, I'd make my guys bedazzle one seam of their uniform for every loss. Then they'd learn. Bedazzled uniforms are not very aerodynamic AND potentially embarassing. No one wants to play basketball with all that pizazz.

Rachel said...

that could backfire, players like gilbert might just love a bedazzled uniform...I know I sure would!