Weekend Observations, Twister edition

For a solid 3 months now, Tristan and Rachel have been saying to me: “You have to meet Ted.” To which I would always reply, “Why? Why must I meet Ted?”

I finally found out this weekend. And if you know anything about me, you know that I find nothing as funny as random, out-of-the-blue comments/observations and non-sequiturs. Why do you think I have such an affinity for Jack Donaghey and/or the movie Bottle Rocket? Anyway, Ted is a former poker-dealer-turned-Senate-staffer who lives with Will.

Where Will has perfected the art of quoting Will Ferrell movies, wearing manscarves (see previous post), and acting inappropriate in most social situations, Ted has perfected the art of telling life stories on demand, wearing emo glasses, and casually dropping non-sequiturs into conversation.

About two weeks ago (before I ever met Ted), I was told to clear my schedule for this past weekend, as we were going to celebrate Ted’s birthday. Schedule was cleared, but no one got their shit together enough to plan a party, so Rachel, Tristan and I took over and planned the “Gin Destroyer* Twister Party.”

This party featured—you guessed it—Twister, “99” (a “drinking” game that really had no drinking rules, so we made them up, including the VERY mature rule that everyone must drink on “69”), a Black Jack tutorial (Turns out Vince Vaughn was right, always double down on 11), Miller High Life 40s, Gin Destroyers (courtesy of Mixmaster Mike), and a home video of Will (Not that kind of home video, thank god).

Turns out Twister was not on Ted’s list of things he wanted to do for his birthday, and we’re all pretty sure there’s some traumatic life story that goes along with his aversion to this CLASSIC PARTY GAME. And although my bracketed tournament idea didn’t really come to fruition, we had some pretty heated matches (Mike and Will are surprisingly limber).

I defy anyone to come up with a better last minute party idea than drunken Twister. (Rachel, I know about your Jello Wrestling theme, but I think that takes a lot of advanced planning. Maybe for Will’s birthday?)


*Gin Destroyer (n.) More suitable name for a "Gin Gimlet" or, Gin with a splash of lime juice.

Example: No, Mike, I will not order you a Gin Gimlet. That's the gayest sounding drink imaginable. It needs a manlier sounding name to reflect the potency of the drink. How about "Gin Destroyer?"