13 June 2007

I feel like this might have been one of the events on Nickelodeon's GUTS! I need Mo to verify...


Rachel: I just got the thunderstorm warning. The potential exists for damaging winds and half-dollar sized hail.
Me: I hope I don’t get hit on my walk home!
Rachel: You might want to stop and get a hail helmet.
Me: maybe I can swing by Will and Ted's and get the Brewers helmet. It’s only a block from here.
Rachel: I think that would work nicely. Although Will might be wearing it. Just in his living room.
Me: Maybe Ted would also loan me his "Baseball Golf Surprise" vest.
Rachel: WHAT?
Me: it will shield my chest and torso from hail impalements.
Rachel: NO
Me: please tell me you know about this
Rachel: is it like a kevlar vest but incase someone hits a golfball at you?
Me: I think I will have to blog about it.

Editor’s note: It’s so much better than she thinks.

Mike missed my big birthday celebration on June 2nd at the Irish Times, but offered to cook a dinner of my choosing the following weekend, for the guests of my choosing, as a consolation. I didn’t really see it as a consolation offer at all. I saw it as an excuse to have 2 kick-ass parties. So the dinner guests were Tristan (well, I couldn’t really get around that since she lives there), Mike (who until that night had been “imaginary Mike” to Jessica and Robbie because he was always mysteriously “out of town”), the MannFarmers (Jessica and Robbie), Rachel (who had left the dinner party early that night and missed the Baseball Golf Surprise portion of the evening, obviously), and Ted (vest owner/co-founder of Baseball Golf Surprise).

The meal Mike cooked was amazing. We had gazpacho (one of my favorite summer treats), chicken and steak Kebobs with veggies, grilled asparagus, the best. mashed. potatoes. ever. and bananas foster. And although it was about 96 degrees outside, which Ted let us know by saying “Man it’s so HOT!” during every conversational transition possible, we finished eating out on the patio just in time to pick up all the plates and dishes and haul it inside just as the crazy looming summer thunderstorm let loose.

Not only was this dinner Robbie and Jessica’s first time meeting “imaginary Mike,” but it was really their first non-crowd experience with Ted. I think everyone has an “I remember the first time I hung out with Ted” story. He’s a pretty original dude.

So Sunday evening, when I went Bowie to visit with Robbie, Jessica, Levi and the tots, Robbie had this to say: “That guy Ted is entertaining ALWAYS. I mean, he must have said ‘Man, it’s so HOT’ 82 times. And you know, anyone who plays a game called ‘Baseball Golf Surprise is OK by me.”

Levi: What is Baseball Golf Surprise?

Baseball Golf Surprise is when one person wears a Brewers batting helmet and a red quilted down vest for “protection”(Ted). This person has several golfballs and several baseballs in both of their hands. The other person (Will) has a pitching wedge (golf club). Ted rolls either baseballs or golfballs (that’s the surprise) as fast as he can towards Will, who has to make a snap judgment as to whether lightly tap the golfball or fucking give it to the baseball. If you mess up and hit a golfball with baseball force, there can and will be destruction. The game ends when someone busts a kneecap or a dent is made in the wall.

In the end, I did not go get the batting helmet to protect me from the hail. I figure there was a higher chance that Ted would need it to protect his dome-piece from flying golfballs in his apartment. Also, I don’t think Will would ever part with it. Not even if it meant me taking a baseball-sized chunk of ice falling from outer space to the brain.


Rachel said...

wow, please tell me they really play this!

LG said...

They really play this.

Evan said...

i remember my first ted experience. ..also, baseball golf surprise sounds like the most amazing game EVER!

Evan said...

oh right, and speaking of guts. Bobby boswell's blog has a video of him when he was on guts and how he lost..and he is still bitter to this day about it..its worth the watch.