01 February 2007

Men's Pocky Sticks, Knitting, Romantic Ringtones, and Eggs

I have so much I want to get off my chest right now. And most of them (my thoughts) have nothing to do with each other. So they're numbered in chronological order beginning with last night and ending.....NOW.

1. Last night at the convenience store in Rachel’s building, I was looking for a candy of sorts by the cash register to satisfy my sweet-tooth. I came across an item called “Pocky Stick” (rhymes with “hockey stick,” or, like a chicken pock, with a “y”) They are thin biscuits shaped like a pixie stick and dipped in various chocolates or fruit coatings. “Strawberry Pocky Sticks,” “Milk Chocolate Pocky Sticks,” and “Men’s Pocky Sticks.” At that I turned to Rachel and asked the only natural question: “Why is this Pocky Stick for Men?” And the cashier laughed at me like he knew something that I didn’t (maybe he did, since there was some sort of Asian writing on there that I could not decipher). Anyway, see for yourself and perhaps you can explain the situation to me: http://www.alde.com/anime/pocky1.html

2. Immediately after the “Pocky Stick incident,” Rachel gave me a knitting lesson in her apartment. Some of you may know that I sew clothes. Sometimes I even go patternless and design the clothes. Also, I like to cut and paste paper-based things. In other words, I am no stranger to crafts. However, I can tell you after last night that the only thing I should ever be able to knit is a Cosby Sweater. The situation is bad. And on top of that, my body hurt more after knitting for 2 hours than it does after running 3 miles or working out at the gym. How?

3. My Motorola Razor bit it. I wanted it so bad to begin with, but it’s given me nothing but trouble ever since I got it. Now that I think about it, I’ve had some other relationships identical to that with actaul humans. Anyway, I’ve upgraded to a palm/blackberry-type-thing, and switched to T-Mobile. Wouldn’t you like to be in my top 5? I am going to add someone’s boyfriend [cough]ROBBIE[cough cough] on there and make the ringtone a love song, just like in the commercial. The only debate now is which song? Phil Collins has some gems. But then again so does Peabo Bryson. I can’t decide and I’ll need help narrowing it down. I might make Jessica’s ringer a love song too, just to throw her off. But I’ll let her pick the song, because that's just the kind of thoughtful friend I am.

By the way, I’m totally kidding. Check out http://www.robbieandjessica.com/ or http://weddings.theknot.com/pwp/view/co_main.aspx?coupleid=100421636485384 . They're pretty sweet wedding sites and you’ll also note that I am a “Lady Friend/Bridesmaid” which means I will be going to Hawaii for the nuptials. It doesn’t get much tighter.

4. I totally talked to Joel “I don’t want him googling himself and finding this so I put this intermission between his first and last name” Stein on the phone today. He needed the help of one of my clients for a column he’s writing. I talked to him for about 15 minutes and I think I sounded pretty intelligent and might have even made him laugh a few times. It was nice to return the favor since his columns and VH-1 punditry make me laugh ALL THE TIME. Also, I didn’t tell him I was a fan, because I didn’t want that to come across as creepy (even though it’s not creepy really, I just enjoy reading his work, and knew about him as soon as my boss mentioned Joel needed some info from us and then I asked my boss if I could handle it. Turns out no one else here had ever heard of him). But I did tell him that I read his column on poached eggs and we got in a discussion about egg-poaching techniques. I hope he doesn’t write something bad about my client because then I’ll have to call back and yell at him. Or, at the very least, my conscience will be clouded with negative thoughts whenever I read his future columns.

Epilogue: No less than FIVE people have sent me the exact same story today--http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/02/01/boston.bombscare/index.html
I'm not really sure why. I mean, its pretty interesting/ridiculous, but I didn't even get that many e-mails when Britney and Kevin announced their divorce. So I think maybe my friends have their priorities mixed up. HOWEVER, I would like to congratulate Charlotte for being the first to send me today's story and also for being awesome. That is all.

4 comments:

Rachel said...

1. there has to be porn inside that box
2. now that you've found your knitting muscles it will hurt less next time
3. i think you should go with celine dion my heart will go on (prob b/c i've been watching titanic like crazy lately)
4. I was way excited about that boston article, considered blogging about it. it was funny cuse i watch adult swim at night and they had this big appology on it and stuff. Boston is super cool. thats all i gotta say, even if evidently they cant take a joke.

Jessica said...

I vote that you should pick Rick Astley-Never Gonna Give You Up- for Robbie and for myself Belinda Carlisle- Heaven is a Place on Earth or UB40-Red Red Wine

Charlotte! said...

Yes!

Also - I forgot what I was going to day. Hold on.

Charlotte! said...

I remember! I TOTALLY got a "Subversive Sewing" book from the library. It's like, sewing, for hipsters. I love it! Now I just have to buy a sewing machine, fabric, thread, patience, needles and ideas.

I think you should also add Levi to your top 5 and make the song "Saving All My Love For You" by Whitney Houston. Robbie's should be "If That Your Boyfriend (He Wasn't Last Night)" by Meshell Ndegeocello.