09 March 2007

Overheard in My Life.

Overheard in my life

I’ve always been a big “Overheard in New York” fan. Then came DCist’s Friday staple, “Overheard in DC.” “Overheard in the Office,” also pretty amusing. And in the summer we have “Overheard at the Beach” to look forward to. I’m taking the cause of out-of-context-quotes one step further. That’s right, its “Overheard in my Life.” Without further ado, this is what you might have heard/said in the past week if you were me:

Saturday, March 3, 2007, approx. 2:00 p.m.
Location: Dupont Circle by the metro exit, where a crowd had gathered to watch the start of the Idiotarod race. Four guys get off the metro and are confused by what’s going on.

Guy 1: Wow. It looks like some sort of cultural event. Let’s be a part of something cultural. (stares for about 6 seconds and then comments) I wish I weren’t so drunk.

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Saturday, March 3, 2007, approx 11 p.m.
Location: Fado, about 2 car bombs into the night.

Leslie: Hey Ted. Why don’t you go ask her what kind of fruit she wants in her smoothie tomorrow morning.

Ted: I’ll bet its passionfruit.

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Monday, March 6, 2007, approx 10 p.m.
Location: Fado for Trivia night (yeah, we like Fado).

Leslie: At that Edward Tufte seminar I went to, he passed around a book with original drawings by Galileo. It was pretty neat.

Rachel: Well, my grandparents have a Rembrandt of a dog crapping.

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Friday, March 2, 2007, approx 11 p.m.
Location: Will’s apartment

Tristan: Why are you walking around with that icepack on your crotch?

Will: I pulled my groin.

Mike: How did you do that?

Will: I don’t know! I didn’t even do anything! I’ll bet is cause I wear my BB on this side of my pants and it affects my stride. That’s probably how I pulled it.

Leslie and Tristan: BB?

Will: Blackberry.

Leslie: Well what do you plan to do tomorrow when we go to Fado? Strap that thing to your belt?

Will: Well, I was just going to stick it down my pants. That way, if a chick tries to grab it, she’ll be like “Wow your dick is fuckin’ cold as ice!”

Leslie: Well maybe you should have taken your neighbor there up on some of that Vicodin.

Will: Why? So I can roofie you up?

Leslie and Tristan: (Looking at each other like Will’s crazy): No! So you can roofie yourself up!

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Wednesday, March 7, 2007
Location: Starbucks, 16th and K

Random girl: You know, they say Splenda causes cancer.
Rich: If the terrorists, global warming, bird flu, mad cow, killer bees or Metro bus don’t get me first, I’ll take my chances with Splenda.

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Wenesday, March 7, 2007, afternoonish
Location: IM conversation between Lame Evan (my brother) and me (LG)

LG: The metro stop is Farragut West. Orange.

L.Evan: ORANGE. Money!

LG: Well, I guess technically its also Blue line. But FUCK BLUE!

L.Evan: Blue is the most terrible line there is.

LG: Tell me about it. So, Sushi and the Shins on Monday. It’s gonna be smiles times.

L.Evan: I hope so.

LG: You hope so? Why wouldn’t it be?!

L.Evan: I dunno.

LG: Like, if you have to take the Blue line. It will fuck up your night?

L.Evan: Yeah. Fucking blue. I dunno.

LG: Don’t worry, I’m pickin’ up what you’re puttin’ down. Chick issues. If she acts up, I will just throw a piece of fatty tuna at her face.

L.Evan: Haha. Yeah. Thank you.

LG: And she better watch her eyes, cause there’s going to be spicy sauce on it.

L. Evan: Ouch. Spicy sauce in the eyes is hurt-ing.

LG: And then she’ll have to leave our crew and go home alone on the Blue line.

L.Evan: Blue line to Largo.

LG: EXACTLY. So not money.

2 comments:

Rachel said...

1. rich is HILLARIOUS. watch out for those killer bees though...seriously!

2. whatever I wasnt lying about the rembrandt...tell me that dog doesnt look like that?

3. I thought the idiotarod guy was actually 2 guys...who knows, they were directly behind me so i couldnt see.

Charlotte! said...

Overheard in the Criss House:

Prompted by Todd, Charlotte and Levi are discussing our Top Ten lists.

Charlotte: So, I want to make one, because Todd did.

Levi: Todd really spends a lot of time arranging his musical hierarchy. It's harder for him, though, because it's not all chicks doing covers. *snicker*

Charlotte: Oh, you're funny. And how many Sarah MacLachlan songs would appear on your top ten list?

Levi: I celebrate her entire catologue.