27 April 2007

Welcome, Playoff Season! Don't EFFF me this year.

First of all, I want to illustrate to you the sad state of affairs my life is in, sports-wise. I don’t know if you all are familiar with Yahoo! Sports, but I like it because they have a “My Teams” section. So when I go to my Yahoo! Sports page, I have already pre selected the teams I care about and the score from each teams’ latest game appears.

You probably won’t be able to read this, but for effect, here’s a screenshot of my “My Teams” page as of Wednesday afternoon:
“L’s” STRAIGHT DOWN THE BOARD. Baseball? Fine. I can deal with the O’s and Nats losing- I’m not really all that invested anyway. I’ve always loved ice hockey, but have never much depended on the success of the Capitals. Who knows what's even going on with the United, they normally don't suck. But I am a devout follower of the Washington Wizards and the Dallas Mavericks -- and these losses are unacceptable.

ESPECIALLY for the Mavericks. I’m only letting my Wizzies off the hook because their two best players are injured and we’ve actually played decent games without them (until the 4th quarter and its all downhill). I feel like once they get home court this weekend we might be able to pull something together. But it’s going to be tough and I’m trying not to get my hopes up. Gilbie will be back and better than ever next season.

Now, onto the Mavs. A lot of people ask me why I am a Mavericks fan. The answer: My best friend’s mood is directly proporational to the success of Mavericks. Case in point, we have developed the prototype for the first ever "K-Fo MySpace Mood Indicator". Her default MySpace picture is updated after each Mavs playoff game. Can you decode it?


Kristin (K-Fo) recruited me to cheer for the Mavs last year during the playoffs when she realized that every game I watched, the Mavs won. And every game I didn’t watch, they lost. We call that phenomenon “The universal power of our wills combined” (plus it doesn’t hurt to also have David Hasselhoff in the stands cheering on the Mavs). Then she sent me a package filled with Mavs clappers, pom poms, tshirts and other gear— and by the time they made it to the Western Conference finals, I was heavily invested. Some of you might recall that on my birthday last year, I refused to talk to anyone at the bar until the Mavs game was over. Here is a picture of me at my birthday party while someone is trying to interrupt my Mavs-game-watching (you can't see, but I am angrily pointing at a television in the top left corner):


Later that night, the Mavs wont the Western Conference championship and I let the party resume.

In January, I went to visit Kristin and she took me to my first Mavs game at the American Airlines Center in Dallas. That solidified my allegiance to the Mavs. Really the only time I would ever not root for them is if the Wizzies somehow ended up playing them in the NBA finals. And even then, it wouldn’t be rooting AGAINST the Mavs…just FOR the Wizzies. No bad could come out of that match up for me (Except that if the Wizards won, K-Fo may never speak to me again).

Wednesday night was Game 2 for both the Wizards (vs. Cleveland) and the Mavs (vs. Golden State). Also on Wednesday I received a package in the mail from Kristin with a new Mavs T-shirt and the latest issue of Sport Illustrated with Dirk Nowitski and Steve Nash on the cover. When I opened to the full article, this picture appeared:



I was unaware that Nash and Nowitski played for Cuban in 1991.

Oh wait, the caption says: “In 2003 the duo led Cuban to the Western finals.” It really makes me ask myself some tough questions, like: How has dirk aged, like, 12 years since June 2003? How and where was Mark Cuban able to find stonewashed jeans like that in 2003? How could this picture get any gayer?

When I turned to the Mavs game Wednesday night (after the Wizzies lost), the Mavs were down by 2. Within a couple minutes, they were up by 5. Coincidence? Or “the universal power of our wills combined”? I’ll let you decide. Kristin was at the game and I fell asleep during the 4th quarter wearing my new Mavs t-shirt (West Coast games are killer)…Obviously, the Mavs won Game 2.

And if you don’t take our love for the Mavs seriously, this is ACTUALLY what KFo and I talk about all day:

me: hopefully the mavs will still be in the playoffs then (End of May when we’re in NY)
me: so we can watch some games
Kristin: ya they better be in the finals then! and we can root against Detroit. and watch dirk get the mvp of the playoffs and the season
me: yes
Kristin: that is if we can pull out head out and beat the f-ing gay ass warriors
me: i hope the wizzies are still in it then too. but realistically, I DON;T THINK SO
me: even the wizzies beat golden state
Kristin: they need gilbie
me: tell dirk to get it together
Kristin: i did
me: good. i am telling him telepathically right now.
Kristin: good. he needs to hear it. i have a little dirk on my desk. and i keep telling him.
me: maybe we need to learn "GET IT TOGETHER" in german. Ask the weenies how to say it.
Kristin: good idea. i will do that. maybe hasselhof needs to get it together too
me: yeah. fucking call hasslehoff and tell him to start recording an inspirational song.
Kristin: he needs to get the F off his ass
me: Yeah. America's Got Talent is SO OVER. Haul Ass to the American Airlines Center, HOFF.
Kristin: you are the only one that understands my mavs fury
me: I understand. Because I feel the fury too.

1 comment:

joe said...

for some reason every time i saw pictures of that girl i always thought she was that girl Charlotte i heard about. Huh.