23 February 2007

My best friend is either a clairvoyant, sorcerer, or Kevin Bacon in a lady-suit. Which one?

My social experiment (as encouraged by the comments and emails regarding my last post) lasted about 15 minutes after it really escalated to a level I wasn’t prepared to go to. So this is the last time this Craigslist/MySpace/Internets/texting incident will ever be mentioned on here.

Our text conversation verified that it was indeed the MySpace guy I thought it was in my last post. But the best part of this story was yet to happen, at this point. Turns out our circles of acquaintances are much more connected than previously known. This is because my friend Jessica has some connection to ever person under the age of 70 in all of P.G. County and it’s neighboring territories.

After reading ONLY my blog post from yesterday and a separate email which consisted soley of my documentation of the 15 minute text exchange I had with “random” ticket buyer guy (we’ll just call him “Joe Craigslist”), this is what happens:

Jessica: Send me his MySpace page.

Leslie: No.

Jessica: I won’t comment on it.

Leslie: No.

Jessica: Is it Mike Someguy?

Leslie: No.

Jessica: What’s his name?

Leslie: Joe.

Jessica: Joe Craigslist.

Leslie: HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT??

Jessica: Because [blah blah blah, information redacted]

Leslie: Seriously. HOW DID YOU PULL THAT?

Leslie: I am baffled.

Leslie: I am fucking blown away.

Leslie: OK, so what if he texts again? I should just ignore it?

Jessica: Yes. Unless you want to be “saved.”

Leslie: If by “saved” you mean effed by a youth pastor, I’ll pass.

Jessica: Good call.

You can’t mess with her. Like, how do you pull a person's name, on the second guess, from what vague and little information she had out of EVERYONE who could have possibly responded to a DC Craigslist posting for concert tickets? She knows everything and everyone. In fact, I heard that the “Six Degrees if Kevin Bacon” is doing a regional expansion and the PG County Game is “Six Degrees of Jessica.” They’re going to have to pull it though because it’s actually so much easier to connect Jessica to people than Kevin Bacon.

I really hope that I don’t have anything that “interesting” to post on Monday. Because honestly, after this, if something surprises me, it probably involves someone getting pregnant or going to jail.

1 comment:

Charlotte! said...

Unfortunately, I think this particular gene missed me.

If law school doesn't pan out, she can always buy lots of scarves and eyeliner and read fortunes.